Showing posts with label montgomery ward. Show all posts
Showing posts with label montgomery ward. Show all posts

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Motorcycles: A Magnificent Obsession: Part Ten, Last Part

First published on JANUARY 6, 2009 2:06PM


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Motorcycles: a Magnificent Obsession: Part Ten

Final Chapter of this Series


The end of Part Nine:

The bikes ran fine. We never took them over thirty miles an hour, never got out of second gear, and ran them up and down from full stop, then first, then second, and back down again. We were just wearing them in slowly, more slowly than I would normally break in a bike, but you have to remember that we had nothing to go on to tell us how the factory wanted them to be broken in. So, after about an hour of this we headed back to Earl’s and we were both feeling pretty good about it all.

We put the bikes away, had another half round and I hopped on the Honda and headed home. It had been a hell of a two and half days and while I would pay for it with a considerable limp for a few weeks I felt it was all worth it. There would be no more working on the bikes until the next weekend. As much as I hated not doing more with the bikes right then I knew enough to know that I had to work to eat – and drink.


Part Ten

The next Saturday morning I headed over to Earl’s expecting to spend the day riding the bikes, increasing speeds, working through the gears, using the brakes and generally doing a solid, but conservative, break in since we didn’t know what the manufacturers’ recommended break in was.

So about 9 am we got on our shining new Ward’s Benellis and hung a right out of the sub-division and headed for Annapolis. We took a parallel county road to the main road (US 301) to Annapolis since we were at that point intending to keep the bikes at no more than 50 miles an hour until they had a hundred miles on them. The bikes had four speed transmissions and 50 was a nice speed to run in 4th gear.

At that speed the engine was not overworking much and the vibration was minimal for a single cylinder “thumper” which in those days were notorious for vibration. You could feel some vibration coming through the foot pegs and the handlebars, but it was not aggravating.

Just before Annapolis we hung another right and took a series of Bay side roads that followed the contours of the Chesapeake Bay heading south. We knew these roads by heart because we had often gotten lost on them before they imprinted on our fogged brains.

We enjoyed riding through the many small bay side villages that dotted every cove and inlet. Some were strictly working villages with mostly crab boats and some commercial fishing boats, others catered strictly to pleasure craft, both gas powered and sail boats.

Shadyside was mostly a working village but there were two small pleasure craft marinas that catered to the less affluent. Slip fees were cheap and weren’t going to get more expensive because most boats could only safely get out to the bay when the tide was in. When it was fully out you were guaranteed to literally get your boat stuck in the mud.

And that guaranteed another several hours of drinking beer and playing the portable radio until the boat could float again. The power boats had it better because they drew far less water than a sailboat did, unless the boat was a twin keel or had a retractable keel board.

In addition to motorcycles, Earl and I both were interested in sailing on the Chesapeake. Earl was a power boat (stinkpot) man and I was a sail boater. I had my eye on a 20’ Hurley pocket cabin sloop that had recently been docked at the marina in Shadyside, so we pulled in there so Earl could take a look at it. I knew a lot about that particular boat and had heard from another friend that there were two on the Chesapeake and one was now docked in Shadyside.

Earl actually kept an old 24’ wooden stinkpot at that same marina that he allegedly was going to have taken out of the water so he could spend some miserable days scraping and sandpapering and painting until it was in good shape again. He was always hinting that maybe I would like to help him and I was always changing the subject.

Earl used the old boat as a place to get away by himself, more like a cabin than a boat. I always thought it wouldn’t stand being lifted out of the water and assumed Earl had his doubts too because he never had it hauled for the winter instead setting a couple of bubblers to keep it from icing in completely.

He only paid about $500 for it and he claimed that the inboard engine was worth more than that. Maybe so, but I seriously doubted that since it would cost at least $300 to dry dock the boat and get the engine pulled out. I figured he paid about $600 too much for it. Plus he was paying a small $20 a month slip fee.

The whole thing seemed a waste of money, but it was his money so I didn’t push him on it. I used to irritate him no end when I was forever telling him that if all the worms in that hull ever decided to quit swimming at the same time the damned thing would sink. I thought that was hilariously funny, but for some reason he didn’t.

Earl had no interest in sail boats and would not have noticed the boat I was interested in had it been docked next to his decaying stink pot. So he reluctantly joined me and We looked at the little Hurley sloop and I was impressed. But it had a $6000 price tag that I couldn’t afford at the time, so I just forgot about it.

While I had thought for quite a while that I would love to own a Hurley I thought nothing more about it for about four years. In 1972, however, Earl and I were down at Shadyside again and I saw the owner of the Hurley and asked him if he had taken it off the market and was just enjoying it himself. He told me that he had gotten no nibbles but that he had $6000 in it so he had just kept the price at that. But he had hardly sailed it in the interim, had done almost no maintenance to it, and it had gotten rather weather beaten just sitting around.

He volunteered that he would consider selling it in the next month so he wouldn’t have to pay to have it dry docked for the winter. I told him I might be interested, but at a lower price. He asked what price and I told him $2500. Well, all of a sudden we were bartering and I knew he could be had when he said $5000. I bid $3000 and he countered with $4000. We settled at $3500 and I had a sail boat. (There are a lot of stories about that boat that we may get to at another time.)

Incidentally, after I had the boat pulled and got her looking like she was just launched, some guy at the Annapolis Marina offered me $7000 for it the first time I pulled in there. It was, as I knew all along, a much sought after twin keel sloop that was hand finished and was considered a prime example of small sloop twin keel design. The prior owner did not know that, of course, and I wasn’t about to tell him. I sold the boat right before I left DC for NYC in 1978 for $8000. Not too bad for a $3500 investment and six years of sailing enjoyment.

We took Route 2 down to Prince Frederick and hung a right on Md. 231 and took its meandering way to where it dead ends into Md. 234, hung a right and another right onto US 301, a left on Pope’s Creek Road which dead ends at the Potomac tidal estuary and there, right at the end of the road, sat the Shangri-La of Maryland Blue Crab aficionados world wide: Robertson’s Crab House.

Crab lovers everywhere will fight to the death to try to convince others that their kind of crab is the best. Lovers of Maryland Blue Crabs take their crab superiority seriously. When the Virginia tourism office launched their still effective slogan, “Virginia is for Lovers,” with a large red heart as its logo, eager entrepreneurs in Maryland immediately responded with their own campaign, complete with t-shirts, sweatshirts and other paraphernalia proudly stating, beneath a big Maryland Blue Crab picture, “Maryland is for Crabs.” And although to the uninitiated it was just a cute reposte, to Marylanders it was true. Maryland Blue Crabs are to this day the best crabs in the world. And yes, I’m prejudiced, but I’m also right.

And the very best place to eat blue crab was at Robertson’s at Pope’s Creek. The outside of the restaurant itself was totally unimpressive, a large rambling, one story, faded red, wooden building with not a single distinguishing feature. Even the parking lot was just crushed shells which made negotiating the bikes to park them a careful proposition.

But once inside you were immediately struck by, well, nothing. The seating arrangements were a series of trestle tables and backed benches with knotty pine booths lining two walls. There was a small bar towards the rear near the kitchen, but almost nobody used it. People came here to eat blue crab, and besides the main accompaniment to blue crab was Rolling Rock served continuously at the table.

What made Robertson’s special was its secret crab boil mix. Nobody else throughout the dozens of crab shacks in Maryland and Virginia had exactly the right mix of herbs and spices that Robertson’s had. Robertson’s refused to take reservations and was so popular that two other crab shacks set up shop in the same block just to catch the evening and weekend overflow from Robertson’s.

Blue Crab prices today are outrageously expensive. A softshell sandwich can go for $8.00. Large jimmie (male) blues sell for $35 a dozen and up boiled, and there aren’t all that many large jimmies left. Medium (sooks), females, sell for only about $5 a dozen less.

Earl and I ordered two dozen large jimmies for $5 a dozen boiled, with two dipping bowls of warm clarified butter ($.25 each) and two Rolling Rocks at $.75 each. Draft Pabst was 25 cents a glass.

Blues aren’t hard to eat, but its sloppy eating. You needed a mallet and a pick and a bib; but mostly you needed to know how the open the shell without too much splatter and to break open the claws without splashing the lady five tables down.

When the hot crabs and beer came right up we clinked Rolling Rock bottles, took a swig and didn’t talk for the next 15 minutes. Then I looked up at Earl held up my empty bottle and he nodded a slight “Yes”. So it was two more Rolling Rocks and another 15 minutes. By then with all but about three crabs left we felt free to talk and mumble things like "perfect," “heavenly,” and “how good can it get?” and other inadaquate words signifying total contentment. We ordered a third round of Rolling Rock and finished the rest of the crabs.

The table looked like a war had been fought on it. Piles of crab shells, dead soldiers lined up in a neat row, and butter dribbled all over the newspaper that served as a table cloth. Some would find that disgusting. I saw it as the sign of a great meal well eaten.

We pushed back a bit from the table, dug around for our cigs and lit up. It was one of those times of total satisfaction that are rare enough in our lives. So I don’t know if it was Shagri-La or Nirvana, or maybe heaven on earth. There really aren’t adequate words to describe times like that.

We made our way out to the bikes, kicked them over, carefully worked our way out of the loose shell parking lot, hit asphalt and made our way to US 301, hung a left and were on the road that would drop us back four blocks from Earl’s place. The day would end in a perfect ride, having followed a circle on the map with a piece of paradise half way through the ride.

It was actually a perfect day and we were angling away from the sun, which on a bike makes an afternoon even better. The road was good. What could go wrong? Today I would say that the three Rolling Rock were not exactly the best idea. But in those days neither Earl nor I could hardly feel even a buzz from three beers especially while eating and absorbing a lot of butter which slowed the passage of the alcohol into the blood stream. So that wasn’t it.

It was that I was getting the distinct impression that the clutch was slipping on my bike. It wasn’t bad as long as we were going along on 301 out in the country. But 301 had a lot of villages on it and a number of stop lights. As we went along each stop and the subsequent shifting through the gears to take off again it became evident that the clutch cable needed adjusting. At the third stop I told Earl what the problem was but that I didn't want to stop and thought I could make it to his place OK.

However, it just kept getting worse and so a few miles from his house we pulled into the parking lot of a closed super market. The new replacement super market was across the highway and was at least three times as big. Business must be good. The area around Bowie was growing quickly as the Levitt development provided the anchor for a lot of adjacent development.

I got off the bike, put it on the center stand and got out the tiny tool kit that was stored under the seat. It had a few cheap open end metric wrenches and a pathetic excuse for a pair of pliers but that was all I really needed. When I had it adjusted to where it felt pretty good I fired her up and ran her through the gears in the parking lot. It seemed almost right and I told Earl that I was just going to take her up a hair more and check it again.

I did that and ran it around the lot again. It seemed about right, so I tell Earl and he says, “Well, you really haven’t tested it, have you? I mean you are nursing it around the parking lot like an old woman.”

I gave him a dirty look and he says, “Look. Just take the damned bike, pull the clutch, put her in first, rev her all the way up and let go and see if she slips.”

“What if it wheelies?”

“You’re kidding, right? It’s a 250. You’ll be lucky if it moves forward.”

Well, I thought, my old Maico 250 certainly couldn’t wheelie, but then again it was a two stroke and needed revs to make either torque or power. And it was a heavier bike. Still, Earl was right. It was only a 250 and a cheap one at that. And it didn’t seem to have all that much torque, but I had never come close to opening the throtle all the way.

“OK, I’ll do it.”

So I did. Put her in 1st. Pulled the clutch in. Cranked her wide open. And dropped the clutch. And Holy Sh**! The front end went straight into the air and the bike took off. I’m holding on to keep from dropping her but I have slid so far back on the bench seat that the only real purchase I have on the bike is at the handlebars. I can’t let go and I can’t stop cranking the throttle because I can’t roll it forward and hang on too. So there I am, holding on for dear life and quickly running out of real estate.

Straight ahead is a deep drainage ditch at the side of the highway, grass covered sides, maybe 6' deep and 25' wide. So I am heading for the ditch and there is no way I can turn the bike or let loose without damaging it, and maybe me. So down the side of the ditch I go and the bike pitches forward onto its front wheel as it hits the soggy side of the ditch and starts spinning the rear wheel losing traction. That is the good news.

The bad news is that the ditch is a virtual swamp from yesterday’s rain and I’m heading for the bottom.

The good news is that there is no water in the bottom.

The bad news is that the there is about a foot of mud in the bottom.

The good news is that the soggy ditch and mildly sloping sides quickly slow the bike down.

The bad news is that the angle at the bottom is too steep to allow the front wheel to start back up the other side.

The good news is that the bike sticks in this bog and actually doesn’t fall over.

The bad news is that I go flying over the handlebars and plant my helmet in the other bank and am covered with mud and grass from head to toe.

The good news is that the only thing broken is my pride.

All of this could not have taken 30 seconds. Earl comes running up, asks if I am OK. I say yes. And Earl is laughing so hard he is crying. He comes down the bank and sits in the wet grass laughing hysterically. Hell, it wasn’t that funny.

When he can catch his breath he says that I actually looked like I was doing the wheelie on purpose and looked good, so he had no idea I was out of control. This is vaguely possible because I did wheelies quite a bit with my dirt bikes and even with street bikes that I had tested after getting out of sight of the dealer. So he knew that I could do wheelies and that he couldn’t so he just thought I was showing off.

In any case at some point I finally started laughing too and thinking how lucky I was. We eventually got the bike out of the suction of the bog and back on the asphalt. It was a mess and all I had to clean some of the mud off was my hands. So that’s what I did. The bike forgave me immediately and started back up.

My beautiful Italian lady friend and her new beau looked simply pathetic as we rode together back to Earl’s praying nobody could figure out what the hell I had been doing. When we got to Earl’s he kept me and the bike out on the driveway and he hosed both of us off before he would allow either to come into the garage.

When I had most of the mud off I pushed the bike into the garage and sat down in the dirtiest Director’s chair and took my boots, leather jacket and helmet off. Earl went into the kitchen and came back with the first Dewar’s and soda for me and the first Wild Turkey on the rocks for him.
We had a couple more.

I had pretty much dried off and as the sun was setting I got on the Honda and rode home. I had no idea how I would explain what I looked like when I got home. I thought about it a bit and realized that nothing would be as strange, and therefore likely believed, as the truth. So that’s what I told.

The rest of the story about the Ward’s Riverside Benellis is anticlimactic. We rode them around the DC/ Annapolis area, took them up to Baltimore Harbor once and even took them across the Bay Bridge over to St. Michaels once.

We learned quickly that speeds over 50 they were very buzzy. At 60 they were tolerable for an hour or so. At 70 everything vibrated, including the fillings in your teeth. These were great bikes for urban and suburban riding. They got over 70 mpg. The engines were pretty much indestructible and the bikes were very reliable. We rode them about half the time for the rest of that Fall and into a typically moderate early DC winter. I commuted on mine and it was a good commuter.

But the truth was we bought them on a lark and they ultimately were not the right bikes for the kind of touring we liked to do. They served their purpose which was to give us something different to do, another odd ball off brand of bike to try (who ever thought that a cheap Montgomery Ward’s Riverside brand motorcycle would be any good?), and they created some unexpected memories.

In the Spring Earl sold his to a guy who lived outside of Annapolis and wanted it as a summer commuter. I think he got about what he paid for it. Earl was not one to haggle like I did. I figured he could have gotten another couple hundred for it if he tried.

My little brother Gary had gotten back from Viet Nam and was going back to school so I gave him mine. He rode it throughout his college time and passed it down to another of my brothers, Mark, who rode it all through a couple of his college years.

One hot summer day about three years after he got it Mark decided to take it out in the country on an interstate and see what she would do. What she did was freeze up and bend a valve, and likely destroyed the bottom end. He got the bike home and I took a look at it. The drain plug had loosened; it likely had not been tightened enough and the vicious vibration of trying to go full out did the rest. There was almost no oil in it. So it had gotten too hot and seized.

Anyway it was dead. Mark sold it to some fool who thought he could fix it and gave the money to Mom. So my Italian beauty died an unnecessary death. But when ridden the way it was supposed to be ridden, and properly maintained, it had been a very good bike.


Note: I am ending this series here. There are more motorcycle stories yet to tell and I will write them soon enough. But I have a couple of other things I want to explore in the near future.

I appreciate all of you who have followed this series and the encouragement that you have given me. I hope that I was able to recount a small part of an important period in my life that I am only now allowing into my own consciousness.

For too many years I was reluctant to look at those years, in spite of the success I had in my work life and the fun I had with motorcycling. And, of course, I took a closer look at the unique and very wonderful relationship that I had with Earl. All of those things I was afraid to look at for fear that I might get the idea that it would be OK to start drinking again. That was a foolish fear and it was unwarranted. But so many of our fears are.

So while I wrote this series hopefully for your enjoyment, it also became an important kind of therapeutic remembering and writing for me. I never intended it to be that. In fact, I never even intended to write anything about this period of my life when I joined OS. But doing so has been a blessing.

So, at the end, which I think is appropriate because I have lost Earl, but now once again I have the memories, I dedicate this series to
Earl Darrah, friend, confidant, best man, buddy and brother in spirit.

Earl: here's to the good times and the bad. For a while there we shared mystical moments. I owe that to you. Rest in peace.

Monte


Motorcycles: A Magnificent Obsession, Part Nine

First posted on DECEMBER 21, 2008 11:31PM
250riverside2
Ward's Benelli 250cc, restored

benelli_side
Beautiful Custom Restored 1968 Wards Benelli 250cc
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Typical Motorcycle Kick Start Shaft and Foot Rest
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Monte's Scotch of Choice; He Did Not Like Bourbon
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Earl's Favorite Burbon

Related Posts - Motorcycles: A Magnificent Obsession There are ten posts in this series, which can be accessed in the Archives feed on the right sidebar.


Where we left off: Part 8 ending

…………We had ended up taking a long way around a low fence, but we had now gotten to the place we needed next to get: running and riding the bikes. Were both pretty fair motorcycle mechanics. Earl was better with cars, but I held my own with bikes. We may not have been the very best, but we were damned good and knew it. So what was this growing knot in our stomachs about?

Next: What can possibly go wrong?

________________________________________

Part Nine

I wolfed down my sandwich, took another swallow of beer and got up, heading toward the kitchen. Earl followed reluctantly, why he was dragging his feet I didn’t know, but he was following me into the kitchen like a puppy that had been bad. He had put away the first malt liquor in a few gulps, so he grabbed another, held on to the can of beer nuts, and we stepped into the garage.

The bikes actually looked pretty good. They were small (well, they would look a lot smaller today since I weigh almost 100# more now! ;-) ) but the lines were right and the engine had a nice form, very narrow at the bottom, with closely spaced cooling fins, and tapering to the head and overhead valve cam cover.

There was a lot of air all around the engine that made it stand out as the major feature of the bike. So many bikes have engines that look like everything is just crammed in, no open space around them to highlight the fact that engines are the heart of any bike. These bikes looked very similar to the better known Ducati models of the day.

I went over to my bike, turned on the petcock to let the gas down into the carbs, turned the key and straddled the bike. These bikes had no electric starter like modern bikes do. I rolled it back a bit until I felt a little resistance, put it in neutral and slowly pushed the kick starter down and back until I felt resistance, lifted my body until all the weight was on my left side and kicked down.

These bikes were only 250cc but since they did not have a compression release and were single cylinder bikes there was always the potential of a violent kick back which I really wanted to avoid. I went through that drill two of three times, not expecting a tight new engine to start on the first few kicks. I wasn’t really trying to start it, I hadn’t even pulled out the choke. I was just trying to loosen it up a bit and get the feeling for how this bike felt when kick started. It had a left side kick shaft which was awkward for me, having been used to right side kick starters. I rested a bit sitting on the bike, pulled out the choke, gave the throttle a couple of blips, closed it and then opened it a tiny bit. Then I stood and readied myself to get that sucker to start.

Meanwhile, during all this, Earl wasn’t doing anything but sitting in an old director’s chair, drinking malt liquor and munching beer nuts, taking two of three in his hand and throwing them into his mouth rather than placing them there. I’ve seen a lot of guys do that but never thought it was the efficient way of eating nuts. I think it was part of the whole attempt to look “cool.” It was an affectation that I never used, but I had many others: tapping unfiltered Chesterfields on my watch face, blowing smoke rings, and such. But I digress.

The point is that Earl always worried me when he acted like that and it was usually up to me to figure what the hell he was up to. This time I didn’t have to. I reared up, got all my weight on my left leg again, damned awkward that was, and was in mid act when Earl says, quietly, “It won’t start.”

“What?”

“Well, to be precise, it might start but it won’t keep running.”

So I’m getting off the bike and going over to Earl. “Why not?”

“I tried both bikes before you got here. I don’t think they are letting the gas down.”

“Do you know why?”

“Sure. I know why but I haven’t figured out what is causing it.”

“Any ideas.?”

“Nah. You had the last good idea. I thought I’d see if you can go two for two.”

So we started another trouble shooting game. First I pulled the float bowl on the carb and it was full of gas. But no more gas was coming down even with the petcock wide open. So that meant that the bike might start and run until the float bowl ran dry and then quit. Now we are talking about a pretty simple physics issue here. Its called gravity. There was no fuel pump because the gas was carried above the carb and was turned on and off by the simple petcock valve. Gravity did the rest. The problem seemed obvious to me, as did the solution. I couldn’t figure why Earl didn’t see the simple solution.

As the gas emptied into the carb air had to replace where the gas was. Otherwise a vacuum would be created and the gas would not flow. So air was usually allowed into the tank by a small hole in the gas cap. Or some bikes had an “overflow” outlet in the tank with a small hose to allow gas to escape if the tank were too full and it got hot in the sun and expanded. That outlet also let air in to displace the vacuum created as the gas was let down into the carbs.

The trouble here was that there was no overflow outlet. But the cap, a simple one, did not appear to have an air intake. This prompted a brilliant response out of me: “What the hell?” Earl wasn’t so stupid after all. Something I always knew unless I was ticked because he hadn’t done my thinking for me.

We both looked at the damned caps and could see no way for air to get in. So I started pulling mine apart something Earl would never do unless he knew why he was doing it. I knew why I was doing it; I was fed up with this Italian crap, Grabbing the rubber gasket to pull it out I turned it just a bit in the groove that held it, moving it only a few degrees. And there it was, a small cut out on the gasket that matched up with a tiny hole that opened to a tiny vent on the underside of the cap! I showed to Earl and said, “Who’s the genius in this garage now? Two for two!”

Earl looked at me with a skepticism that only he could convey, “Right. What’s the real story?”

So I told him the truth that it was pure dumb luck. One thing Earl and I never did to each other was carry on for long periods of time ribbing each other, or bragging how one of us was better than the other, or rubbing in each others mistakes. I think that is one reason why we got along so well. Both of us had childhoods where we never did anything that pleased, never had a thought or idea worth telling, at least according to people we hoped to please.

We both knew dozens of relationships that were destroyed by so-called “good natured” ribbing. The truth which we both intuited but never spoke about was that any so-called humor that we said that was at the expense of the other would never be rubbed in. I guess our silence on the issue, and neither being willing to endanger our relationship, was proof in itself that we cared for one another more than either would ever admit.

Incidentally, I think that rubber gasket not being matched to the hole was done on purpose. I imagine the guys at Benelli felt that it was better not to let air, damp air, into the empty tank that could cause rust and corrosion. And while I never would know, I bet the Set Up Instructions or the Owner’s Manual, neither of which we had, explained about the gasket being in the “wrong” place. Maybe the Benelli Brothers weren’t as stupid as I thought. That made two brilliant deductions in one afternoon.

Anyway, I was feeling pretty good. Earl started to get his bike ready to kick over, but I had already gone through that drill – and I wanted to start mine first. So I ran over and jumped on the bike, pulled out the choke again, turned on the key and quickly kicked the kick start.

And, Oh Sweet Jesus!! I was sure my leg was broken. I half fell of the bike and was writhing around in pain on the floor like I was going to die. Or rather, like I wished I just would die. Don’t let anyone tell you that a 250cc bike doesn’t have a hell of a kick when you don’t start it right! The foot rest of the starter arm had snapped back into my leg at about mid calf and slightly to the outside. Within 20 minutes I was left a big hematoma the size of a goose egg on it that would take weeks to go down.

[Ironically, I would not have another hematoma until I totaled my Triumph Thunderbird in 2005 when a deer hit the front wheel of my bike. That one made this one look like a small thing indeed, but that is another post for a later time.]

Earl should have been an EMT. He always knew just what the patient needed It was pure instinct. While I was rolling around on the garage floor, Earl disappeared. But he hadn’t run out on me; he had gone into the kitchen to get the medicinal first aid I needed. He emerged momentarily, walked over to me, and handed me a large, squat glass with about 4 ounces of Dewar’s scotch with half a dozen ice cubes floating in it.

A few sips and I was on my feet, staggering to another of the director’s chairs that were fixtures of Earl’s garage. Earl had disappeared into the kitchen once more and returned with his own glass of Wild Turkey over ice. He grabbed a chair and we both just sipped and said nothing. A good friend knows when to keep his mouth shut. What could he have said other than “You dumb ass; you know better than that?” He knew I was already saying that to myself and he would not make me feel worse. True friends are like that.

I calmed down and the scotch was starting to work, but I was still pissed off. But this time not by the bikes but at my own stupidity. And I was more determined than ever to get the bike running.

[Sorry, but the ending here is anticlimactic. I would write a powerful or clever ending but it would be a lie.]

After a while the leg wasn’t hurting much; that would come later with a vengeance. I went over to the bike and went through the drill properly – and she fired. And stalled. I tried again and she fired and actually ran for a few combustion cycles. I gave the throttle just a little more twist, stroked and she fired and continued running. I held the throttle in place for a minute. I had no idea if the idle was properly set, or even if the jets in the carb had been set correctly. As she heated up the idle increased, which was a good sign so I slowly turned back the throttle completely and she held a very good idle at around 1400 rpm.

[How do I know? Because I can tell how fast most bikes are idling just by listening. I’ve made a little money over the years off of guys who thought there was no way I could do that. I have no idea why I can do that, but I can; and I can adjust the carbs on a bike with four carbs as well as a pro using a manometer to balance the carbs.]

I slowly pushed the choke in and she continued to settle into a solid idle, no missed firing, no coughing or stuttering. With the choke pushed all the way in and the bike heated to normal operating temperature she settled into a steady idle at around 1000 rpm. Perfect!

While this was going on Earl had gotten his bike going and, using the same drill, ended up at the same place. I turned the bike off, went over to the chair, picked up the rest of the scotch and sipped it. It was mostly thawed ice now and I didn’t want it. I picked up Earl’s glass, which was, of course, empty except for some ice water in the bottom. Into the kitchen and back with half sized refills for both of us and fresh ice.

After a few sips of our drinks we put on our helmets, started the bikes and rode them slowly down the drive, into the cul de sac, and out into the cookie cutter streets of Bowie, Md.

[Bowie was a pothole in the highway until the early sixties. We called the town back then Belair because William Levitt had purchased the Belair horse farm, all 5000 plus acres and developed Belair as the second of the Levittown subdivisions following the one built on Long Island.]

The bikes ran fine. We never took them over thirty miles an hour, never got out of second gear, and ran them up and down from full stop, then first, then second, and back down again. We were just wearing them in slowly, more slowly than I would normally break in a bike, but you have to remember that we had nothing to go on to tell us how the factory wanted them to be broken in. So, after about an hour of this we headed back to Earl’s and we were both feeling pretty good about it all.

We put the bikes away, had another half round and I hopped on the Honda and headed home. It had been a hell of a two and half days and while I would pay for it with a considerable limp for a few weeks I felt it was all worth it. There would be no more working on the bikes until the next weekend. As much as I hated not doing more with the bikes right then I knew enough to know that I had to work to eat – and drink.

Next: Time to see what the bikes will do. And another colossal blunder that Earl thought was the funniest thing he had ever seen! Bastard! ;-)

Monte

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Motorcycles: A Magnificent Obsession, Part Eight

First published DECEMBER 17, 2008 1:24AM

Occhi-Chiusi-Old-Racing-Eyes-Shut-Giclee-Print
Classic Italian Motorcycle Poster;
Earl and I never had it that good!
Who's controlling that bike, anyway?

Wheelie
Motorcycle Wheelie done right;
not like I did it on the Wards Benelli!
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This is not Earl and me.
But it is a good example of how helpful Earl was
when he was in back pushing to help start the bikes.
Do you see any "push" in this picture?
Marlon-Brando---The-Wild-One-Photograph-C10102035
This is who we, indivualists to the core,
tried to look like;
Well, hey, we were actors too!
We just didn't know that.
We thought we were for real!

Related Posts - Motorcycles: A Magnificent Obsession in ten parts; see sidebar Archive list for link for each.

Picking up from Part Seven

Monte and Earl got the crates off the freight truck, dropping one crate in process, busting it up. Instead of there being motorcycles in the crates there were many rag wrapped bundles in each one which turned out to be the parts to unassembled bikes. After much cussing and drinking and work they managed to get the parts into Earl's garage. Upon unwrapping them they discovered the parts were thickly covered with an anti-rust, anti-corrosion product called cosmoline. Eventually they got the parts clean and laid out in the rough order of how they would be assembled - only to find that there were no assembly instructions and no Owner's Manuals.

After more cussing and drinking and hours of work they eventually, late at night, got the bikes assembled. So the two of them went inside for a celebratory nightcap. Earl, however, had something more elaborate in mind, one of his peculiar conceits of playing the role of an upper crust elitist. Monte's assessment of these conceits is that they arose because Earl had been born dirt poor in the Palouse of Eastern Washington, much as Monte had been born dirt poor and lived in Eastern Kansas, and this was Earl's way of reminding himself he had "made it."

On this night it was a not the nightcap Monte expected but an elaborate ritual centered around fine Brandy, crisp Washington State Golden Delicious Apples and warm soft Brie cheeze, with good music and French cigarettes.

Part of the ending in Earl's living room:

So there we are. Two guys who grew up dirt poor half a country apart, him a hard scrabble kid of the Palouse and me a tenant farmer’s boy from the rolling plains of Kansas, both of us filthy dirty sitting in two leather chairs, listening to Sinatra, sniffing and sipping VSOP Brandy from huge snifters, smearing Brie on crisp, juicy, genuine Washington State apples.

Neither of us say anything for the longest time. Earl opens a drawer and comes up with an unopened pack of Gauloises, opens it and shakes one out for me and one for him. Now, I HATED the taste of Gauloises, but this was his moment, his proof of conquering the Palouse and all the people who told him he couldn't, his proof that he could be as sophisticated as the best of all those who held him in disrespect as he grew up, all those who told him he would grow up to be nothing worth talking about – and I wasn’t about to spoil that moment.

We light up. He lifts his glass, and I lift mine. He is pretty sloshed by now, but his voice is still clear, his movements show no sign of being drunk, and he says, not looking at me but at someone a continent and decades away, “How do you like me now, you pricks?...................

"................ As I am riding away I look in my mirror and Earl is standing there in the driveway, Brandy in hand, Gauloise perched between his lips looking up at the starry sky. I’m not sure what he was thinking but I imagine it was along the lines of non illigitamus carborundum. The kid from the Palouse was finally in a world of his making. That was worth celebrating. And I was glad to be part of it.


Part Eight

After a shower and a good night's sleep, which in those days was about six hours, and drinking a big glass of three Alka-Seltzers, I rolled the Honda out towards Earl's a little after noon. I lived in Riverside, a small, poor suburb of DC near the University of Maryland campus. Earl lived in Bowie, half way between DC and Annapolis. Traffic was light and the ride woke me up fairly quickly and the Alka-Seltzer was helping stop the pounding in my head. The headache was subsiding from a full head drum beat to knife thrusts in rhythm with my heart beat just above my right eye brow. [Some things never change. My worst headaches today are still throbbing, stabbing pain in exactly that place.]

About 30 minutes later I pulled into Earl's driveway and up into his garage. The door was up and there was a light haze in the garage and the smell of coffee so I knew Earl had been poking around. I went in through the kitchen, poured myself a cup of black coffee and sloshed in a bit of last night's left over brandy which Earl had thoughtfully left next to the stove.

Earl was sitting in one of the leather chairs in the center of the living room that faced the TV and Stereo, smoke rising above his head, half an ash tray full of butts on the lamp table and a cup of coffee in his hand. He wasn't watching TV, reading the paper, or listening to music.

Without turning to look at me, he says, "Since you are already up, get me a cup of Brandy and splash in a little coffee, will ya?"

He holds the cup up over his head and I walk up from behind and take the cup into the kitchen, fill it with coffee, dash some Brandy in it, walk back and hand it to him, from the front. Then I plop down in the matching leather chair, get out a Chesterfield and light up.

He takes a sip of the coffee and says, "This isn't what I ordered."

I just ignore him. We had danced this tango long enough that he knew what I had done. If he wanted to pickle himself before the sun was under the yard arm then he was going to do it without my help.

"Well, aren't we talkative this morning. You hung over?"

"Nope. Feel good."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Well, first, you're being too nice. Second, you were in the garage earlier, and now you're in here. Third, something's wrong out there or you'd be out there getting the bikes ready to go. So I figure when you feel like it you'll tell me what it is. Until then I've got coffee and brandy and cigarettes, the sun's shining, its not too hot, not too humid, so what's not to like?"

"Your bike's got no spark."

"You sure? Was the key on and is the battery full charged?"

"Everything is like it should be. I checked the batteries and installed them, gapped the plugs in both bikes, checked the continuity."

"Did you switch your bike for mine?"

"Hell, no. I wouldn't do that."

"Like hell you wouldn't. If you wanted to dump some damn electrical gremlin in my lap you would. How would I tell if you did anyway?"

"Well, your bike has a little gouge on the on the rear fender that was just painted over. I noticed it last night. Besides I have no reason to switch out bikes with you. My bike hasn't got any spark either."

"Shit! Why didn't you say that?!"

Earl just grinned like the cat that swallowed the canary and said, "Knew it'd get a rise out of you, and I just wanted to watch. Now let's go out and pull the points covers and see what we find."

We went out in the garage and I was still a little steamed for being had. It wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last. But a man has is pride. Sort of. After a while I was chuckling about it.

The points looked good. We turned over the engines and they closed at -10 TDC which, because they both did, we figured was the factory setting and I wrote that down for later if we had to re-time the engines. The gap was right on at .032" on both bikes, so we figured that was OK too. It was dawning on me that we were damned lucky to have bought two identical bikes. With no manuals to go by we could compare settings between the bikes and make a pretty good guess at what were the factory recommended settings.

To make a long story short we took about an hour messing with the grounds, checking continuity to the engine circuit and found nothing. I got frustrated and took the damned points out and went over to the bench and looked at them under a bright under car florescent light. At first I didn't notice anything and then I noticed that the point contacts were shiny. What the hell? Both of the tiny contacts shined. Earl pulled his points and his looked the same.

We got out some sandpaper and lightly sanded the points. The shiny coating flaked off. It acted like a lacquer and I think that is exactly what it was! The Italians couldn't bother to put the damned bikes together but they could take the time to lacquer the point contacts for whatever reason, and that completely eluded us. I was starting to think I knew why they could never win a war.

In any case, we put the points back in and while we had not moved the piston in any of this we checked the timing and it was still on, even with the removal of the thin coating of lacquer. We buttoned them up, grounded the pulled plugs and kicked them over. Nice blue spark zapped in the plug gap. Bingo!

With that Earl said, "Let's eat something and then we'll come back and fire those mothers up! So back into the kitchen to make sandwiches we went. I was feeling pretty fond of me for being the one who found the reason for the problem, but I held my tongue.

I have earlier explained that Earl always ate this enormous breakfast that lasted him until supper time. So when he says, "Let's go eat" he means I will eat and he will drink and nibble. Mostly drink. So I fixed a sandwich and popped a beer. Earl grabbed a malt liquor and a can of Beer Nuts. Lunch.

We plop down in the chairs and Earl turns on a Redskins pre-season game. They are so bad that neither of us really care but neither of us are very inclined to talk. We are trying to figure out whether we had those suckers ready to fire up.

We had ended up taking a long way around a low fence, but we had now gotten to the place we needed next to get: running and riding the bikes. Were both pretty fair motorcycle mechanics. Earl was better with cars, but I held my own with bikes. We may not have been the very best, but we were damned good and knew it. So what was this growing knot in our stomachs about?

Next: What can possibly go wrong?

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Motorcycles: A Magnificent Obsession, Part Seven

First published DECEMBER 9, 2008 10:57PM

hills
Kansas: The Flint Hills in Spring
palouse-1-853-thumb
Washington State: the Palouse in Spring
KansasDeadEnd-10886
What life looks like in Kansas when you grow up poor.
It looks just the same if you grow up poor in the Palouse.



Related Posts - Motorcycles: A Magnificent Obsession: there are 10 parts to this memoir. You can find them listed in the archive sidebar on the right.


I subtitle this section of this memoir: “Where the Hell are The Directions?”

Part 6 ended with two very drunk, and one very tired (me!) motorcyclists finding that the two bikes they had bought from the Montgomery Ward catalog were completely unassembled. At that point I was feeling that I had taken advantage of Earl by talking him into this fiasco. But then something dawned on me that made me feel stupid, and angry. Here is the end of part 6.

Just a little note: After pushing the wheel barrow up the drive with the pieces of his new bike, it dawned on me that we could have just put the pieces of the bike into the back of Earl's pickup and driven it to the garage!

At that point I was the one who was drunk and pissed off. I had been too stupid, or drunk, to think of that when he first rolled the wheel barrow down the driveway. He never, to his dying day, admitted that he did that on purpose. Like hell he didn't!

Any way, we put the pieces of crates in the back of Earl’s truck and called it a day.

I wobbled into Earl’s living room and fell down on the divan. As Earl walked by from the kitchen to his bedroom, Wild Turkey still in hand, I yelled out, “G’night, Scarlett. We’ll think about this tomorrow.”

Part Six

It was late, after midnight, when we got all the parts of the two bikes into the garage, kept them in two separate areas, and had gone to bed. Earl, always the early riser, was up and cooking breakfast by 7 the next morning. Such disgusting activities are anathma to a night owl like me. I had crashed on the living room couch in the clothes I was wearing the night before.

The noise and smell, ugh!, woke me and once Earl saw me stirring he always made sure that there was no way in hell he was going to let me sleep. So he puts on a vinyl album of Johnny Rivers and turns it up. Unfortunately, Earl had a great stereo system with 15” Infinity base boxes. So my hungover brain is treated to a nice 120 decibel concert of "Maybellene," "Baby I Need Your Loving," "The Tracks of My Tears," "Tunesmith," and "Help Me, Rhonda." By the time we got to "I Washed My Hands in Muddy Water" I was up and staggered to the bathroom to die. The problem is that at that age you don’t die, you just feel like hell. I kept some minimum toiletries at Earl’s for just such occasions and I brushed the fuzz on my tongue and walked back into the dining room.

Earl was sitting there bright and chipper eating a huge breakfast of eggs, sausage, toast, AND, a huge Bloody Mary. His drink looked pretty pale to me, but that happens when you make a Bloody Mary out of 4 ounces of vodka, a splash of tomato juice, an dash of worchestershire sauce.

I fixed a Bloody Mary that had 8 ounces of tomato juice, a splash of vodka and a lot of worchestershire. I didn’t mind a bit of the hair of the dog at 7 am, but I didn’t want to start the day eating the whole dog. Since I never eat breakfast and was sure to get heartburn as soon as this went down I checked my pockets to see if I had any Tums. Yep. (I carried Tums the way some people carry a billfold or Sen Sen.

So we worked out a PLAN. We prided ourselves on always having a plan. We would unwrap each piece, guess where it went on the bikes and lay them out in the rough outline of a bike on the garage floor. Actually, this stroke of genius came to me from watching, a few days before, the way investigators piece together a crashed airplane. Only in this case we would be putting the bikes together.

What we both thought was that in one of the packages would be a nice, fat, Assembly Manual. Who, after all would ship a complete motorcycle in parts without including instructions to put it together. Plus we would need the Owner’s Manual, and the set of tools that, back then, that came with every bike. The tools were irrelevant, but the Owner’s Manual was important for telling us how much oil to put in the bike, how loose to set the chain, amount of air in the tires, how to adjust the shocks and chain tension, and such stuff, plus the manufacturer’s recommended break in procedure.

So we eventually got started after Earl had another anemic looking, but oh so potent, Bloody Mary. He was happy as a pig eating……well, you know. He always was after a breakfast that would make a lumberman barf and a couple of stiff breakfast drinks.

As soon as we started unwrapping the parts we found out that any part that could possibly rust – and some that would not– were coated in a thick, dark brown layer of cosmoline. I swear it looked like some were dipped in that crap, not just sprayed on. If you have ever tried to clean up anything coated with cosmoline you will know that, while it is the best product to keep a metal part from rusting, or aluminum from corroding, it is absolute the compound from hell to get off the part. If you doubt me, just Google cosmoline and the first 400,000 entries are about removing this evil gunk.

Cosmoline gets on your hands, on your clothes, on anything it touches. So now we have, laid out on the floor, two Italian bikes, totally in parts and covered with brown, waterproof, crap. We are so pissed about finding the overkill on the cosmoline application that it wasn’t until we quit cussing, yelling, and throwing things that I said,

“Hey, Earl. Uhhhhhh. Was there any Assembly manuel in your bike parts? How about an Owner’s Manual? No. Me neither.”

“Shit!” (Don’t wince, that was over 25 years before I went to seminary.) By now we had been at this mess for about an hour. It was around 9 AM, and I knew just what to do. I said nothing, turned and went into the kitchen and fixed me a pale, Earlesque Bloody Mary! Well, I was pissed and somewhere the sun was just going down. Here’s to where ever that was!

Thus fortified I plunged back into the garage prepared to attack the cosmoline with, with, with what? Gunk engine cleaner would work but wouldn’t do painted parts any good and had to be sprayed off with water. Gasoline would do it, but I wanted nothing to do with that in a garage with two guys who were more likely than not to forget and light cigarettes. We tried kerosene which worked pretty good, but was pretty smelly and tend to hang around in the air and make me sick to the stomach when I use massive amounts of it. So I decided to go down to the hardware store and get a couple gallons of mineral spirits, to the auto supply and get some spray cans of brake cleaner. Earl was glad to see me go. It gave him time to fix another “not so Bloody Mary.”

The mineral spirits worked, as did the brake cleaner on the smaller parts where it got into spots that were impossible to get a brush into. But it still made a hell of a mess and did not give up its attachment to the parts without a sticky fight. It took several hours to get all the parts clean and placed in the spots where they looked like they should go. I decided not to thank the geniuses at Benelli for most of the rags we used.

At this point I need to point out two things. While you couldn’t tell it by looking, neither Earl nor I had just fallen off the turnip truck when it came to motorcycles. While we had never seen this particular motorcycle, we had, together and by ourselves, stripped more than a few motorcycles down and rebuilt them. Here we at least had the engine and tranny completely assembled, the forks were assembled, the main wiring harness was in one piece and was color coded to the connecting wires in the headlight, etc.

The tires were already on the wheels and we assumed, and were right, that they had tubes in them. They would need balancing but that is not difficult. And, the rear sprocket was already attached to the rear wheel. The drum brakes and shoes attached to the wheels. These were not modern disk brakes which made it easier with no hydraulics to contend with.

And, my biggest fear was unfounded: Instead of just throwing all the nuts, bolts, connectors and fasteners into one big confusing package, each package had a small cotton pull string bag in it with the small connectors and fasteners associated with each part. I can’t tell you how much I appreciated that. When I found that out I was almost, but not quite, willing not to kill the first representative of Benelli I ever saw, not that any were likely to come to Bowie, Maryland.

So, in fact, it took us longer to get the parts out of the boxes, get the packages open and to get the damned cosmoline off the parts than it did to put the bikes together. Another surprise piece of good luck was that the oil sump had a dipstick in it so we could figure out how much oil to put in it. We started with Ethyl gasoline. Later we learned that regular would be fine. We took the top cap off the forks and found that they were prefilled, all to the same level. So we ran a dowel down inside the fork and recorded how far to refill the forks if we needed to later. We added distilled water to the batteries and were pleased that they did not need any additional acid , so we put them on the charger for an overnight trickle charge.

We started putting the bikes together in late afternoon. We had mine together by about ten that evening and Earl’s together by about midnight. They looked good, looked like they were put together right. Everything seemed to work. Even the primitive balancing we did of the wheels looked good, which ran free and true on the bikes.

I was grateful that Earl had, according to me, “wasted thousands of dollars” on one of the best garage shops man had ever seen. I wasn't going to give him the pleasure of admitting that. But there was nothing that we had to go out and track down in either tools or parts. Miracles do happen! Or, in this case, Earl was the miracle by having put together a state of the art car and bike repair shop.

Since it was getting late and we had only been drinking, or as we called it, sipping, since 7 AM, we looked at each other with a Cheshire cat grins and said almost in unison: "This calls for a drink!" Turned out he meant a celebration.

He dug out an unopened bottle of Remy Martin VSOP aged brandy, not the best, but far better than I would ever buy (I told you I was cheap a few dozen times, didn’t I?). Anyway, as I have hinted in earlier posts in this series Earl had this admiration for... no, that is not strong enough, Earl has this "need" for certain standards of civilized behavior that at first confused me, but that I later found to be both rather quaint and endearing.

He, to look at him, just didn’t look like he gave a damn about much of anything. But there were these rules he made up for himself that over the years he had made a part of who he was. Perhaps, and I am just guessing here - but it's a good guess - perhaps he needed to prove to himself that he wasn’t really a just a worthless hard scrabble kid from the Palouse of Eastern Washington, and that he could feign class with the best of them. He had no illusions that the acts of the high and mighty were rituals that meant much to them. But Earl had never been high and mighty and rich and well born, so as he chose the ones that would be his, these pretenses meant everything to him.

And so, Earl decided that getting those bikes together constituted a special event. A Sinatra album goes on the turntable and old Frank starts swinging with "I Get a Kick Out of You," "Luck Be a Lady," " My Kind of Town," "New York, New York" and "My Way." At least those are the ones I remember he liked best. My memory isn’t that good after all these years but I remember the things that count. I remember that was one of the things we both agreed on was this: there was nobody who could sing like Frank, then and now. He was still playing “records” when we visited him shortly before he died and Frank was still numero uno with him, and still is with me.

Then Earl disappears into the kitchen and comes back with the brandy, two giant Washington State yellow delicious apples (sent by one of his kids from “Home”?) and some Brie, already at room temperature and very soft, which means had this in his mind sometime earlier in the evening and took the brie out to soften!

So there we are. Two guys who grew up dirt poor half a country apart, him a hard scrabble kid of the Palouse and me a tenant farmer’s boy from the rolling plains of Kansas, both of us filthy dirty sitting in two leather chairs, listening to Sinatra, sniffing and sipping VSOP brandy from huge brandy snifters, smearing Brie on crisp, juicy, genuine Washington State apples.

Neither of us say anything for the longest time. Earl opens a drawer and comes up with an unopened pack of Gauloises, opens it and shakes one out for me and one for him. Now, I HATED the taste of Gauloises, but this was his moment, his proof of conquering the Palouse and all the people who told him he couldn't, his proof that he could be as sophisticated as the best of all those who held him in disrespect as he grew up, all those who told him he would grow up to be nothing worth talking about – and I wasn’t about to spoil that moment.

We lit up. He lifted his glass, and I lifted mine. He is pretty sloshed by now, but his voice is still clear, his movements show no sign of being drunk, and he says, not looking at me but at someone a continent and decades away, “How do you like me now, you pricks?”

Then he turns to me and says: “We’ll have those suckers running tomorrow!” (Actually the word wasn’t “suckers,” but it sounds similar.)

“You bet we will Earl, but as soon as I finish this brandy I’m going home, going to take a shower, sleep in my own bed, and not set the alarm. Nobody there is crazy enough to wake me.”

A few songs later Earl walks with me though the garage to the Honda. I start it up, put on my leather jacket and strap on my helmet. “Good night. See you tomorrow afternoon.”

“Good night. Careful with that Honda, we got a big day tomorrow”

As I am riding away I look in my mirror and Earl is standing there in the driveway, brandy in hand, Gauloise perched between his lips looking up at the starry sky. I’m not sure what he was thinking but I imagine it was along the lines of non illigitamus carborundum. The kid from the Palouse was finally in a world of his making. That was worth celebrating. And I was glad to be part of it.

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